The art of authentic positivity

A couple of times recently I’ve found myself coaching people to stay positive. In both cases they very reasonably pushed back, saying great idea, but they didn’t want to be false and pretend to feel positive when inside they felt anything but. Two conversations about the art of being authentically positive ensued and I’ve been collecting my thoughts on the subject since then.

Let me start by taking a step back. This may be obvious to many of you, but we all like being around positive people. It’s more fun and it helps us keep our own energy up.

Positivity is doubly important in startups where the ups and downs will inevitably lead to periods where we question whether the whole endeavour is worth our time. Happiness is contagious and companies full of positive people climb out of the dark patches more quickly.

However, to really work, the positivity must be authentic. Saying or implying you feel good when you’re really not sure is better than giving into cynicism, but people can tell, and after a while it will chew you up inside.

One trick for staying authentically positive is to avoid dwelling on the big problems and focus on the little wins. When someone asks how you are doing, reflect on something that has gone well recently. If you made minor progress with a major client in the last 24 hours, say so. It’s genuine, and will make you and the person you are talking to feel better than a negative or neutral statement.

Underlying this is a really important point, which is that effective operators respond to feeling down by finding something positive to do. When we were still working out the details of our model here at Forward Partners we had a chap who started to get cynical about key aspects of his role. To his credit he responded by taking ownership of one of our content initiatives. It was a side project for him, but he had success there which kept him positive whilst we sorted out his bigger issues.

Other helpful tricks are getting enough sleep, exercising, eating well, meditating, and – simplest of all – remembering to smile. If you feel good in your body you will have more energy and find it easier to stay positive.

Like happiness, positivity is a function of mindset and behaviour. It can and should be cultivated.