Personal healthStartup general interest

How to speak so people will listen

By January 13, 2015 2 Comments

I just watched a great Ted talk by Julian Treasure on how to speak so people will listen. It’s embedded below so you can watch the whole thing (highly recommended) but the takeaways so you can remember easily after watching are seven ‘deadly sins’ to avoid:

  • gossip
  • judging
  • negativity
  • complaining
  • excuses
  • lying
  • dogmatism

and for things to do more of:

  • be honest (clear and straight)
  • be authentic
  • have integrity (be your word)
  • have love for the listener (genuinely wish them well)

Listening to the talk and thinking about them whilst writing out these lists the truth of them is self-evident to me (which is not to say that I could have come up with them myself). I see myself and others tuning out when people commit the deadly sins and responding well to people who are honest, authentic and who have love for the listener. Especially this last point.

Making this personal, as an investor I have to make decisions on investments everyday and that can easily slip into judging. Certainly that happens to me more than it should. It’s a nuanced point, but after listening to Julian it’s clear to me that we should try to make investment decisions without passing judgement, particularly on anything that could be construed as personal. I’m going to work hard to do that.

The other point for me is to have more love for the listener. Since my sojourn to India eighteen months ago I’ve been slowly understanding that beyond being a good thing in and of itself having greater love for the world is a way (possibly the best way) to deliver personal happiness and increased impact. Consciously wishing the best for people I’m talking with is an easy way to get started on that journey. You could even call it a happiness hack.

Enjoy the video.